Entry tags:
NVC
Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have.
—Doris Mortman
Clarifying What You Value
Make a clear, conscious decision about what’s important to you, and then live from that place.
I used to strive to be liked. I measured my success by other people’s opinions of me. I was in pain for years using this strategy. If someone didn’t like me, I felt bad and I tried to be the kind of person they wanted me to be. If someone didn’t want to spend time with me, I was certain it was because I wasn’t a likeable person. It did not occur to me to clarify my own values and to live from them.
For instance, I value authenticity so I began to speak up when something was important to me, rather than keep quiet so that people would like me. Once I truly understood what was important to me, I began to live more peacefully. Sometimes people still don’t like me, but I know that if I act in harmony with my values, I can be at peace even in the face of conflict.
—Doris Mortman
Clarifying What You Value
Make a clear, conscious decision about what’s important to you, and then live from that place.
I used to strive to be liked. I measured my success by other people’s opinions of me. I was in pain for years using this strategy. If someone didn’t like me, I felt bad and I tried to be the kind of person they wanted me to be. If someone didn’t want to spend time with me, I was certain it was because I wasn’t a likeable person. It did not occur to me to clarify my own values and to live from them.
For instance, I value authenticity so I began to speak up when something was important to me, rather than keep quiet so that people would like me. Once I truly understood what was important to me, I began to live more peacefully. Sometimes people still don’t like me, but I know that if I act in harmony with my values, I can be at peace even in the face of conflict.