NVC

Taking responsibility for others' feelings is emotional slavery

NVC

"Emotional slavery is seeing ourselves responsible for others' feelings."

- Marshall Rosenberg,
Nonviolent Communication:
A Language of Life

Living Compassion Tip - Week 34

Oh, Freedom!

"In our development toward a state of emotional liberation," says Marshall Rosenberg, "most of us seem to experience three stages in the way we relate to others.

Emotional Slavery: we see ourselves responsible for others' feelings:
"I don't want to disappoint anyone."

Obnoxious: we feel angry; we no longer want to be responsible for others' feelings:
"If you don't like what I'm doing, tough!"

Emotional Liberation: we take responsibility for our intentions and actions:
"I'm happy you received the promotion, but I'm also disappointed I did not get promoted too."

Emotional liberation is accepting full responsibility for meeting our own needs and intentions. According to Marshall, this level of freedom involves "stating clearly what we need in a way that communicates we are equally concerned that the needs of others be fulfilled."

True liberation is when meeting needs becomes a "together" proposition instead of the responsibility of only "me."

Mindful Practice for the Week

This week, move toward freedom! In your quest to feel comfortable stating your needs, see if you can move from emotional slavery or obnoxious to liberated. Notice how different the results of your conversations become. Enjoy the week!

про сны

Вчера мне приснилось два сна подряд:

1. Леша пришел и показал бумажку, со словами: "Вот свидетельство о браке. Я договорился и там и за тебя расписался". Помню, что восторга эта новость не вызвала.
2. Я проводила первый урок английского с второклашками. Какой же это восторг! Помню все, могу хоть сегодня начать курс.

записки на манжетах

• Мне только что позвонили и спросили, как будет по-немецки "241". Что характерно, я знала ответ.
• Оказывается, frogman - это водолаз. Спасибо новостным агентствам за возможность учиться каждый день.