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When we submit to doing something solely for the purpose of avoiding punishment, our attention is distracted from the value of the action itself . . . If a worker’s performance is promoted by fear of punishment, the job gets done, but morale suffers; sooner or later, productivity will decrease.
—Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.

Protective vs. Punitive Use of Force

Our society spends a great deal of time punishing people for their misdeeds. This is called punitive use of force. This stems from a belief that people behave in certain ways because they are bad or evil, and that they need to be punished to mend their ways.

Suppose you see your child run into a busy street. If you pull her from the street and berate her for being careless, you are using punitive force. Your focus is on judging her behavior.

Protective use of force, on the other hand, stems from the belief that sometimes people do things because they don’t know any better. It represents a desire to prevent injury or injustice. It focuses on protecting people’s rights and well-being, not judging their behavior.

If you use protective force you would still grab your child, not because you believed she was bad, but because you want to protect her. When we punish people, they focus on avoiding the consequences of their actions, not on their values in relation to their actions. Focusing on avoiding consequences is unlikely to encourage change.

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Focus on protective use of force today by adopting an attitude that people sometimes do things that cause them pain because they don’t know better.