NVC

[nicolica]

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. —Eleanor Roosevelt

You Are Not Responsible for Other People's Feelings How many times have we heard this? It may sound trite, but it’s true! Everyone’s feelings are a result of their own met or unmet needs. It’s important that we take responsibility for our actions and acknowledge that our behaviors are sometimes a stimulus for other people’s pain. It is equally important that we acknowledge to ourselves that other people are responsible for their own feelings. Say that you are telling a story about your younger brother’s childhood, which you think is hysterical and clearly demonstrates his quick wit. He, on the other hand, feels hurt and embarrassed because he wants respect and consideration, especially while his girlfriend is visiting the family. In this situation, your brother doesn’t appreciate that you are trying to contribute to his relationship with his girlfriend. Are you responsible for how he feels? Absolutely not. Should you acknowledge that you were the stimulus for his pain, and express your regret? Absolutely; to meet your own needs for care and consideration. If you can remember this simple philosophy, it can be easier for you to take responsibility for your actions, without taking responsibility for other people’s feelings. This will enhance and deepen your relationships.

Notice if you are taking responsibility for other people’s feelings today and be aware that they are responsible instead.